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Marry Rather Than Burn

"But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2

"But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Corinthains 7:9 

At the time this was written to the church in Corinth sexual immorality was rampant there like it is now. We are hit from all sides on a constant basis and it's tough! As Christians we know we must abstain when not married, but the sinful nature of man, combined with what we're bombarded with at every level, makes it extremely difficult. However, it doesn't mean rush off and get married to someone so you can release.

In no way was Paul telling people to do this in the above verses. Self-control should always be exercised first and caution in even placing ourselves in compromising situations. Being in compromising situations is very easy to do and once in them we can find ourselves in really bad situations and out of control. I know how it is as well and in this no one's innocent. Self control can't be achieved on our own either. We don't have it in us to control ourselves in that way so we must be fully dependent on God.  When temptation does come, (and it will) recognizing we can't stand on our own and must look immediately to God to provide the exit.

Getting married isn't an instant fix to sexual desire anyway. God hates divorce and if a marriage is based only on lust or satisfying a sex drive then that marriage has no foundation, it won't last and is in for some serious problems. People are still just people and even being married, one person can still burn with passion for another outside of the marriage.

The Greek word for "burn" is "puroo" and it literally means to be inflamed with lust. God doesn't want us getting married out of lust. Marriage is sacred to God and reflects the relationship between Christ and His people. How could a marriage based on lust reflect that? Lust is of the sin nature and as long as we're breathing we will all battle it at one point or another despite having spouses. Getting married is better then eventually falling into sexual sins. Not everyone can live unmarried and maintain self control. It must be given to them by God so the self control needed to maintain that lifestyle must come from God, (Matthew 19:11) therefore marriage should not be forbidden to anyone. It breeds all sorts of problems and sexual sins later for the individual.

Marriage doesn't eliminate lust, but it does help suppress it when the marriage is healthy. God strongly advocates a very active sex life with a spouse, encourages it and praises it. It's never to be withheld or deprived when one wants it unless for devoting oneself to prayer for a very short time (which must be agreed on first). Then we are to come back together so we don't fall into temptation and sin. (1 Corinthians 7:5) Depriving a spouse is setting them up for temptation and sexual sin. In the process you'd also be doing a lot of damage to yourself if and when the spouse does fall.

Sex is more than just for pleasure. It's symbolic of the spiritual relationship and of being one flesh and if a marriage is based purely on sexual release you're missing a vital organ of what marriage is. Sex with a spouse has profound physical affects on the body and the brain. It also has powerful affects on the relationship. When done in a healthy marriage, it's extremely healthy physically and spiritually. When done for purely pleasure and selfish reasons, even in the confines of marriage, there's gonna be a lot of damage.

It's reflective of the intimate relationship and union God has with His people. By giving His Spirit to us it's a perfect example of making one out of two in our relationship with God. Sex was created for us by God and when done under His conditions, it's sacred and a beautiful act to Him. If one person is withholding sex from the other it's depriving the other of their right to a part of their own body and spirit. In marriage there is no "this is my body" mentality.

"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." 1 Corinthians 7:3-4

It's not an ownership idea like property. As one, everything about a spouse is part of other and vise versa. Everything one does, says or thinks will have a direct impact on the other.

So in all respects, it's better to get married then fall into sexual sin, but until that time comes it's not to be rushed into, but rather self control plays a major part until marriage and even in marriage. Self control is above all because marriage isn't a cure for lust.


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Disclaimer: I do not condone the teaching of men by women nor am I trying to exercise authority over men by using this blog as a method of teaching men. All posts are for the edification of women. For more on what I believe concerning this issue please see: Women - No Dominion Over Men
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