The Crown of a Husband

For a look at what God expects from husbands go HERE

Marriage is a covenant and not a contract. There's a difference. A contract means two people have lists of demands and expectations and if they're not met at some point the contract can end. A covenant is lifetime and doesn't just involve two people...it also involves God. There's no getting out except through death. If demands are not met you can't just end a covenant. A covenant is entered with full knowledge and expectation of a life long union with full commitment on both parties of making it work when (not if) things go down hill.

Wives...

Ephesians 5:17-30 "Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. . . .Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."

Philippians 2:6-8 "Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. But made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross!"

In essence, Christ (as God) was and is equal to the Father, but he didn't cling to that, argue with the Father about coming here, butt heads etc. He submitted to the Father even though They're equal. Wives are to view and treat submission to husbands the same way.

Submit doesn't mean be a door mat. Submit means, though we are equal in standing before God, on a team such as a husband and wife, both can't be chiefs. One has to submit for harmony in marriage and that is the wife. We are to submit to his authority that God gave him. Society teaches us differently, but to God women are to submit to their husbands as long as he's following God's will. If we have to choose between submitting to God or our husbands we must go with God. If the husband is a godly man then he'll have no problem with this. If he suddenly wants you to help him break the law then submission is out.

Proverbs 12:4 "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones"

Being a crown to a husband means a wife is a visible treasure to everyone just as a crown on her husband's head would be. Her excellence is well known. Her husband is honored to be with her, thinks of her as a blessing and a source of great joy. A man who has a wife like this is considered highly blessed by God.

The opposite wife, who is shameful, is compared to rottenness in his bones. She's shameful, disrespectful, flirtatious, obnoxious and a total embarrassment to him.

Proverbs 21:9 "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."

This doesn't mean a wife can't disagree with her husband, but this type of wife is always fighting with him, she's always locking horns with him, always difficult, always starting a war no matter what he does. Basically if a man has this kind of wife it's just better for him that he go live on the roof.

Proverbs 9:13 "The woman Folly is loud; she is undisciplined and without knowledge."

The loud wife is an overbearing and domineering wife. A woman who has a overwhelming opinion on everything, gossips about everyone, is snide, mean spirited toward others, malicious and obnoxious.

Undisciplined wife actually translates "seductive" wife. She's flirtatious with other men. Jesus said "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:28

A married man or woman who flirts with someone else, looks at another sexually, thinks about them sexually, looks at porn etc....has already committed adultery.

Without knowledge translates "stupid". She's uninformed. She opens her mouth and has something to say about everything and tears people down. She has no idea what she's talking about. By tearing her husband down she's made the marriage a mother/child relationship. This will cause a "divorce" without actually getting one. The man withdraws from his wife emotionally, mentally and physically...basically he'd rather chew off his arms then hang out with her in a any way. By him doing this it's causing him to sin because he's depriving his wife. He may also look elsewhere to get his needs met which turns him into an adulterer.

Now the excellent wife....


        Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

An excellent wife builds the home and fears the Lord. First priority is she fears the Lord. She loves, honors, respects and worships God. This is the most important. If a woman does this she will fall in line everywhere else because she fears God and how she treats others is part of that fear or reverence. This kind of wife is a blessing, a treasure from God.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting. This doesn't mean a beautiful or charming woman is bad, but if that's all she has to offer then it won't turn out well later. None of that lasts, but if she fears the Lord that is highly virtuous and that not only lasts, but it ages well. An excellent wife is to be praised. This kind of woman is someone her husband is proud of, can trust and can wear as a crown to everyone.

We are to place high value on being a wife and mother. Our first priority outside of God is to build the home which is building the family. There's nothing wrong with having a career, but our first career and priority is the home...making it a place where our husbands are helped, safe, loved, cared for and at peace when he walks through the door. Where our kids will be treated the same way and brought up under the admonition of the Lord. Where both get nourishment, compassion, love and support from us. We are the home builders...life builders and that's a huge responsibility.

And lastly Proverbs 31...

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

 ¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.