I can't believe how big our little man is getting! Among other things, he takes after his daddy in size. He's gaining weight and growing so fast it blows me away. He's 2 1/2 months and such a ham! He laughs and smiles all the time and talks to us with all kinds of noises. He also sleeps up to 7 hours which is such a relief. I caught him recently lifting his head from the bed. I gasped and said "what are you doing?" and he just gave me a big gummy smile and put his head back down. He's so adorable!
The first time he ever started laughing he was in his little seat. Our cat chases me around a lot and will run sideways at me on his toes with his back hunched and tail bushed out. Squig did that recently and Darian just started laughing and laughing and wouldn't stop. It was so insanely cute it made me laugh hysterically and cry all at once. Darian's not much of a cryer except if he's hungry or needs a changing. Other than that he's full of big smiles, laughter and baby talk. I can be having a bad day, but the minute he smiles at me it all melts away. Sometimes while he's nursing he'll stop, look up at me and get this big grin on his face. It so funny.
I've noticed something that's totally me...his smile. One side of his mouth turns down slightly just like mine. Up until recently, I couldn't find a single thing. He was all Sharb and everyone calls Darian "Sharb's mini me". He's also lightening in skin tone, but his eyes seem to be darkening. I didn't notice until I looked through all the pictures I have of him from birth to now. I had no idea that would change, but his hair...black as ever and he's still a huge fan of thumb sucking. Everything about him is so surprising and fun. I'm still amazed that we could make something so beautiful and perfect.
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Novemeber 19th Sharb and I will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary. I look back over this year and so much has happened, the biggest being Darian's birth. Getting married is really only the beginning no matter how long a couple's been together. Everything changes and there's always a lot of ups and downs as you get used to each other.
Having a baby has brought us even closer and introduced new bonding experiences and also stress into our relationship.
No relationship is ever perfect. When two very flawed, sinful people are joined together you dream and hope for perfection, but learn to compromise and understand we'll always fall short.
This year has been fun, full of blessings and difficult at times, but I don't think I could have ever asked for better. Sharb's my knight in shining armor and that someone I least expected. He walked into my whirlwind of a life and took a sad, confused, emotional wreck of a cast off, pulled me up and brushed me off. He's never been afraid. He was the stabilizer in the earthquake around me. When I was at my lowest God knew exactly what I needed and sent Sharb in. I still look back to that day we met in a tiny office and I'm blown away. I never would have dreamed the quiet and shy guy that sometimes helped me teach an "English as a 2nd language" class (because I didn't know what I was doing) would be the one. We always think we have it all figured out, but we never factor in what God has planned and who He has waiting for us.
Sharb's been all the things I've needed the most even if I didn't want them at the moment. He's been a father, brother, best friend, partner, protector, defender, biggest supporter, comforter, stabilizer, teacher and, at times, boss lol. He's been a provider and assumed responsibility for me when no one else did. If I had nothing excep him I wouldn't have a reason to worry or lose hope. He's been the only person in my life that no matter what happened I always knew everything was going to be alright simply because he was there.
He's a good father and it gives me so much joy to watch him with his son. I absolutely adore seeing Darian smile and make noises when Sharb plays with him or when Darian looks for him when he hears Sharb's voice. Darian's blessed to have a good example of a man in Sharb and I thank God for the example and relationship Sharb has with his own father that can be past on to our kids.
Sharb and I have had our battles and we're sure to have many more
throughout our life as we continue to learn, grow and be changed. There's been times we looked and acted more like enemies than mates, but he's always been a man and it makes me proud to say he's my husband.
Because of everything he's done for me and has been to me it's a gift from God to be the,
"wife of his youth" (Proverbs 5:18-19 as he likes to quote). To give him the best of me when he's never given me anything but the best of him. A long time ago I wrote a list of 101 things I loved about him and to have added to it after all this time would have taken far too long.
You've been my hero and will always be. I'm so proud of you.
Dooset daram aziz. Joone mani. Man bedoone to nemitonam zendegi konam.