Sexual Abuse - It's Time To Speak

In our country alone, 1 in 3 girls will have been sexually abused in some way by the time they're 18. 1 in 7 boys by the time they're 18. A majority of the abusers are known by the victim. Be paranoid as parents. Most of the time the ones we thought we could trust with our kids are the very ones abusing them.

In our blame shifting society, everyone is quick to diagnose someone with having a disorder to excuse atrocious behavior with a kid. How about they're just evil? How about they knew what they were doing was wrong? Why else would they hide it? We don't hide something we think is right. Why else would they lie about it? Why else would they put the terrible burden on the child when they're the adult and know better? Because they know exactly what they're doing and they know it's W-R-O-N-G. They can stop themselves. They can prevent it. It's not an instinct like breathing. They know exactly what they're doing and many times will groom a child, sometimes for months, to abuse them. The abusers would like everyone to think it's a disorder therefore, the load of his/her responsibility is lightened. It's not an accident. They certainly don't feel bad about it otherwise they'd stop doing it.

Sexual abuse comes in many forms and all are damaging. If you are someone who was sexually abused you need to understand it was not your fault. Nothing you did was your fault. Nothing you did or could ever do provoked anything. There is absolutely nothing specifically wrong with you that you were so heinously treated. It's your abuser who is wrong. It's your abuser that is heinous. You were manipulated, guilt tripped, deceived and threatened because they're evil. No other reason.

Don't let what a monster did to you dictate the rest of your life. Don't let what that evil person did to you determine your future. Since it wasn't your fault, why are you blaming and torturing yourself for it? Stop worrying about what will happen to the abuser (no matter who he/she is), your family, your friends, their family, their friends, etc. Who is bearing the brunt of this monster? You are. Don't let him get away with it. Sexual abuse is one of the most under reported crimes in the country. Don't believe the hype that it's hard to prosecute. It's hard because no one comes forward and turns them in. On average, a sexual predator will have abused over 200 kids by the time they're caught for the first time.

If it's too late for you to tell someone about what evil was done to you, it's not too late to step in and try to stop him/her from abusing other kids. Please do something if you know. They will always offend again.

Awkward Alert

A topic came up recently in the women's group I belong to that was pretty sensitive. What started out in almost a whisper of confusion, shame and embarrassment became not only interesting, but relieving. The woman who brought it up truly felt as if she was the only one. She worried that opening up would end in her being ostracized, yet she carried around a burden of confusion and guilt because she wasn't sure if it was sinful. I figured I'd write about it because I realized there's probably many women who've felt the same way.

I'll try to be as dignified as I possibly can with this, but I may fail miserably. You might find the topic gross/weird or you may laugh and say to yourself "been there, done that girlfriend!" You're more than welcome to sit across the room, talk about me and stick gum in my hair. In any event, it appears to be one of those things that happens, but no one really wants to discuss for fear of being the weird girl with the funny glasses on the play ground.

Whether you breast feed/fed or not is really irrelevant. If you've been pregnant then you know about milk production. It's a miracle, weird, painful and annoying all at once. If our husbands haven't fully discovered this wonder of God by watching us nurse then they've discovered it during intimacy.

Some men are turned off by it, some find it erotic, others appreciate its value to sustain life while others find it nurturing and comforting for them. They feel it's a deep bonding experience with their other half. Breast milk certainly wouldn't be harmful for an adult, but rather healthy. Weird? Creepy? Maybe, but what I've found in my own research is it's pretty common and there's nothing to suggest it's sinful.

There are a couple of places in Scripture that alludes to a husband drinking from his wife. It can be taken literally or figuratively, depending on how we apply it to our spiritual relationship with Christ or physical relationship with our husbands, which ultimately reflects Christ as well.

"Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
May her breasts satisfy you always; may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?" Proverbs 5:18-20

I believe it's entirely up to the couple. There's some who believe milk should only be used to feed a baby. For a man to also drink from his wife is somehow depriving the baby of food. From my own experience, Darian always gets his fill with plenty left over so a famine is never a problem for me. There's some who find it gross and that's perfectly fine. As long as it's exercised in the confines of lawful marriage then there is no sin involved. To each his own, but more importantly, as Believers, we are family and shouldn't carry around burdens out of fear of being ridiculed. We're here to edify, help, pray, bear with and comfort one another safely and lovingly.

*End awkward moment*

Drinking Alcohol - Sin Or Not?

Mini-sermon/teaching from my Pastor and church leaders...

Not My Will, But Your Will

"I tell you, ask, and sit will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” - Luke 11:9-13


Many Christians are familiar with this teaching on prayer Jesus gave. Many read these verses and assume it means no matter what we ask for, what we want, whatever our desire is, if we just ask, seek and knock, God will give it to us. Seriously, does that look like your prayer life? Cause it doesn't look like mine! 

I have prayed for things that make me cringe now that I look back at them. David sometimes prayed that his enemies would be slaughtered. That's equivalent to me having a fight with someone and asking that God put them miraculously into freeway traffic so they get mowed down. When we read prayers prayed by famous men and women of the Bible, we're not to always use those prayers as examples. Just because David did it doesn't mean it was right. The point of seeing these men and women in all their warts as well as glory was to show us, though their prayers may have been outlandish and even shocking at times, they were pouring their hearts out to God.


"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah" Psalm 62:8


The good, the bad and the ugly often came out in their prayers as it does with ours as well. God already knows what we're feeling and thinking so when we pour our hearts out to Him we're not shocking Him. It's getting everything in the open so everything can be dealt with in trust, mercy, grace and with wisdom.


When these verses in Luke are taken in to context, the point Jesus is making is actually even better than what we've assumed. It's even more startling than pinning a worldly wants and needs chart onto it. Read those verses one more time. I'll wait....


Do you see it? 


"how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Jesus' statement is absolutely astounding. He asks what earthly father would give a scorpion if his child asks for a fish? What earthly father would give a stone if his child asks for an egg? If we, as depraved, sinful creatures, wouldn't do that, how much more will God? The point is, He's going to give us what we ask for or better. He'll never give us worse then our requests such as a scorpion for a fish.


As any father, God knows what is best for us and will do what's in our best interest. He has all the authority and power to turn down our requests or fulfill them. He's turned me down on many occasions. As frustrating as it may have been at the time, now when I look back, I'm so grateful He didn't give me what I asked for. I really had no idea what I was asking for. Though He has said "No" at times, He never once exchanged it for something worse. The end result has always turned out far better. In fact, my silly request would have been far worse than I could have imagined.


Since our entire purpose is to give God glory; since our entire purpose in life, once we're saved,  is to be made into the image of Christ, God will answer with what glorifies Him. He will answer with what makes Him conspicuous not just to us, but beyond. God loves to make Himself conspicuous. He loves it when we and others can be in the most horrendous situation and be able to see or look back and see Him at work in it.


When Jesus pointed out "how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” He was telling us: "If you ask for comfort God wants to give you the Comforter. When you ask for provisions, He wants to give you the Provider. When you ask for healing, He wants to give you the Healer. When we need salvation He wants to give us the Savior. He wants to give us Himself. What on earth or in heaven could be better than that?


"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26-26

When God gives us food for our bodies do we get hungry again? When he provides any material need does that mean we will never want again? When He heals us does that mean we will never die or get sick again? Lazarus was raised from the dead, but a few years later he died and didn't come back that time. What we must be seeking, asking and knocking for is God. He is the only thing that is eternal. When we line up our prayers putting God at the center of them, asking for Him and to glorify Him, amazing things will begin to happen. When we begin telling Him in our prayers "not my will, but Your will be done." (Luke 22:42) Or "this is what I desire God, but if that doesn't glorify You then I don't want it," God will show up bigger and better than we could have dreamed.


You may be in the worst time of your life right now. You may be begging God day and night to deliver you or your loved one from a terrible situation. You may be losing hope and fearful God won't answer. Understand this, God will never respond to your requests with something worse. God wants what's going to glorify Himself so it will reverberate and have maximum impact on us and beyond. If curing your illness or a loved one's illness will have the impact that glorifies Him, makes Him conspicuous and brings others to Christ then He'll heal. If allowing the illness and even eventual death will glorify Him, then He won't heal. 

Sometimes it takes great suffering to wake people up. Sometimes, it takes great suffering to bring us to Christ or bring us closer to Christ. This little vapor of a life we live is not about our temporal and immediate comfort. Our rest will finally come in eternity. It's about building Christ's Kingdom and glorifying God. Not praying is absolutely insane because He wants to give us Himself. There is nothing on earth, in heaven or the entire universe that is greater and more priceless than that. Only God will last forever. He is the greatest treasure.


"Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven..."- Matthew 6:10


Not ours...







 

The Cheapskate Wife

I've become quite the cheapskate. I'm starting to concern my husband and the number of eye rolls I get a day are increasing. Even though he's lived in the States a long time, he was under the impression most American girls were frivolous with money, anticipated a problem after we got married and kept track of the bottom line obsessively.  Except, I've become the one hounding him about spending and he's a bewildered.

 I spent 45 minutes recently in a home decor warehouse digging, pulling, pushing, rolling and fighting my way through a massive pile of area rugs to get the most bang for my buck. Sure I looked ridiculous. Sure those watching thought I'd lost my mind, but all the sweating, climbing and wrestling paid off when I found a 12' X 20' area rug that matched my decor for 50 bucks!

Oh ya! That's right! On sale buried under most of the others that were marked for $300 and up!

High 5!

Man...did I gloat after all of Sharb's whining and insisting he'd gladly spend hundreds on a rug just so his pregnant wife would get up and stop looking like she was wrestling a crocodile. Not only did I gloat over my find, but unearthing that treasure inspired others to dig through that mountain. Hey it pays to take your time and look.

The Proverbs 31 wife helped her husband by caring for their home and those dependent on her in responsible, smart, frugal ways.  I always use her as a spiritual example in the home. Well that also includes materially so I'm on a mission.

I haven't resorted to separating two-ply toilet paper to make two rolls yet or started dumpster diving for dinner, but being cheap has immediate and long term advantages. When one considers living in terms of eternity, the less and less worldly one becomes. In these hard economic times, saving money and living within one's means is not only paramount, but it shouldn't have taken a monetary meltdown for us to realize this.

Being a cheapskate is also less wasteful. No, I'm not one of those "Go green" fanatics, but taking advantage of everything God's provided for us to live is honoring to Him. For example...


12 Ways To Use Eggshells

 Recyclable Crafts

Easy Compost Pile At Home

There are tons of ways to save money and also be healthy. In our society everything is about speed and convenience and we're paying the ultimate price for it economically, physically, mentally and worst of all spiritually.

Foraging is becoming increasingly popular not only because food is so expensive, but for the tremendous health benefits as well. Did you know eating a cup of dandelion greens has far more vitamins and minerals than anything we can buy in a store? We see them as bothersome weeds, but they're known as a miracle food in most other countries.

Foraging Weeds For Healthy Eating
Edible Wild Plants With Pictures

Just by canning food we not only save a lot of money, but it's far better and healthier than buying in grocery stores. Convenience is extremely expensive and detrimental to our health. Fruit orchards in your area often times will throw perfectly good fruit away simply because an apple has fallen on the ground and can't be sold to the public under our strict food laws. Visiting these places, you may find you can get these things for free or dirt cheap. Use what you want then can the rest. Did you know most honey sold in the stores has been processed to death and has almost none of the pollen and good bacteria that has all of the medicinal value? Many processed foods have very little health value and suck up your grocery money.

Dumpster Diving has also become extremely popular and has now spread from college students to the middle class. There are also Dumpster Diving Meetup Groups Check for your own area. Dumpster diving behind department stores, outlets and even grocery stores can yield big payoffs. Not to mention "shopping at the big store", or rather, curb finds.


As Christians we're called to live simply with our focus on spreading the Gospel, running the race and eternity to come, not what we can grab in the world before we're dead. We can take nothing with us anyway. For further reading to start your own "cheapskate" journey, check out these links for ideas...

Fifty Tips For Frugal Living

Christian Simple Living

The Dollar Stretcher

Afghan Riots And Contradictions of Islam

The Dilemma of Afghan Riots over Qur’an Burning

Secret Bible Predicts Muhammad?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2105714/Secret-14million-Bible-Jesus-predicts-coming-Prophet-Muhammad-unearthed-Turkey.html

Ridiculous.

Here's something that's not a secret: Islam is losing 6 million Muslims a year to Christianity. Islam is NOT the fastest growing religion. In fact, it's in serious decline. Christianity is sweeping through Africa, Asia and the Middle East. Am I surprised this supposedly secret book has been produced in light of the statistical facts that Muslims leaders and clerics are well aware of? Absolutely not.

 Islam also claims the Bible, without this "secret Bible" predicts Muhammad's coming, which is embarrassing for those who claim this because it's glaringly obvious they pick and choose verses and run with it without taking them into context. As I've been saying for years, even while I was Muslim, the claims Islam makes about Scripture and Christianity is so stupid that I cringe and am embarrassed for them. This same Bible they claim predicts Muhammad they also claim is corrupt. This same Bible they claim to honor, they call corrupt. You can't honor, let alone believe, something that is "corrupt". They only honor it when it suits them or they think it backs their beliefs.

I can pull some Scriptures out as well and force them to back my own theories and ideals. That means absolutely nothing. But when taken as a whole, the Bible completely runs contrary to Islam and the Koran. This is why Muslims, who most don't even know the Koran because they don't speak or read Arabic, won't touch the Bible. They've been taught since birth that it's corrupt. When most Muslims do read the Bible, it's not the Bible they turn on, it's their own Koran and beliefs.

Whatever this "book" found is, they are dating it to be 1500 years old. If those dates are even correct, it's still not close to being old enough to challenge the earliest recorded manuscripts of the New Testament alone known to exist and securely dated to 2 AD. Some are believed to be older than that, but requires more testing.

This is how Islam had it's beginnings. "Secret" meetings between a single man in a cave between he and the angel Gabriel. Outside of Judaism and Christianity, every other religion, cult or sect has derived from a "secret" book being found, "secret" encounter between an individual and a spirit/angel or "secret" revelations/visions/voices and has led billions astray. Islam believes Jesus' second coming will be a secret and only a select few will know who He is and it will be up to them to announce Him. Another attempt to deceive the masses.

God can't do anything in the open anymore as He used to. No, He's resorted to doing everything in secret to a select, special few.  That's a cult. That's deceit. That's not God.

Someone asked me once, after I converted: "How many people wrote the Koran?"

I said "One."

He then asked, "How many wrote the Bible?"

I replied "Many."

He said "Exactly."

I was dumbstruck and quite embarrassed for him. He truly believed that argument was valid and proved the Koran to be true. One witness as opposed to many? That wouldn't even stand in our own faulty courts let alone anywhere else. This is eternity we're talking about. This is no light matter. Should people believe one man who came out of a cave with "secret" revelations over a short period of time or 40 men over 1500 years who were not the only witnesses? Let's not forget the millions who witnessed God on the mountain with Moses and heard His voice (Exodus 19:16) or were led by the fiery cloud through the Red Sea. If one witnesses something, you take it with a grain of salt. If many, you believe what you're hearing to be true and accurate. Muhammad would, very well, be diagnosed as schizophrenic nowadays. Jesus cast demons out of people that exhibited the exact same symptoms as Muhammad.

Keep praying for the spread of the Gospel. God is doing a great work in Muslim nations.

Sociopathic Religion Convicts...

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/02/22/iran-court-convicts-christian-pastor-convert-to-death/

 But the Koran says there is no compulsion in religion...

"Nadarkhani was arrested in October 2009 and was tried and found guilty of apostasy by a lower court in Gilan, a province in Rasht. He was then given verbal notification of an impending death-by-hanging sentence."

"The court then gave Nadarkhani the opportunity to recant, as the law requires a man to be given three chances to recant his beliefs and return to Islam."

 "His first option was to convert back to Islam. When he refused, he was asked to declare Muhammad a prophet, and still he declined."

Pray for this Pastor and his family. His fate is ultimately up to God not a "prophet" (and I use that term loosely), government or religion. Whatever God so chooses will be meant for His glory and to bring about the salvation of many. Nadarkhani is standing strong because God keeps him standing. What Iran doesn't realize is Nadarkhani's already won because he loves not his life even to death for the sake of Christ (Revelations 12:11) and will lay it down for the Gospel. This act alone, whether he lives or dies, will bring about the spreading of the Gospel in Iran and beyond to a greater extent. It has always been this way and will continue to be. What this Pastor is doing now is an enormous part of what has always spread Christianity like wild fire. God bless him. The Lord will keep him strong for He is able to.

Festering Wounds

"My guilt has overwhelmed me
   like a burden too heavy to bear.

My wounds fester and are loathsome
   because of my sinful folly." Psalm 38:5-8

There is no pain like that of losing someone you love. Everyone will go through it at one time or another. The loss alone is devastating, but then sets in regret, shame and guilt for a million reasons. These debilitating emotions, combined with grief, can be disastrous for anyone. There's always something, or many things, we deeply regret. There's always guilt to follow and when we realize we can't go back and right those wrongs it can have crippling consequences.

God never promised us an easy life. He never promised fields of flowers with white fluffy clouds and rainbows while we remain on this earth. In fact, more than puppies and cotton candy, we will be racked with festering wounds that seem unending.

"Yet man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward." Job 5:7

As sinful beings, we will never escape regret and guilt. The more we grow in holiness, the more we will become aware of and hate our own unrighteousness and feel the pangs of that guilt. God allows this to discipline and teach us, but He doesn't want us wallowing either. Marinating in them is destructive. Wallowing to punish ourselves is counter productive. We can't go back in time to make amends, but we can grow from regret and guilt.

My husband always says, "It's not how you start, but how you finish." Life is full of anguish, regrets, heartache, guilt and trouble. We can never escape or avoid them, but we have a great God who is full of mercy and compassion.

"for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:20

The first step to ending this vicious prison is to repent. We may not be able to go back and correct our wrongs, but God can and does use them for our good and the good of others. Repentance and acknowledging our guilt will bring the peace and cleansing we so desperately need for healing.

"I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,' and you forgave the iniquity of my sin." Psalm 32:5

In one aspect, guilt drives us to repentance and seeking forgiveness, but having forgiveness doesn't remove the pangs of guilt. As Believers, all our sins are covered, but that covering doesn't blot them from our memory. In the instance of  terrible guilt following the death of a loved one, we will not only beat ourselves up savagely, but we have a powerful adversary who loves to accuse us and drive in the knives. 

Once we've repented then we must simply take God at His Word. He promised to forgive and restore and we must trust in that. If repentance in the salve then renewing our minds with the Word is the bandage. Repentance will cleanse us and renewing our minds will change us. 

"This is my comfort and consolation in my affliction: that Your Word has revived me and given me life." Psalm 119:50


When we feel guilt creeping up on us, we must make the decision to stop it in its tracks. Instead of letting it drag us back into the mire, we must move forward remembering we are new creatures and the old has past away (2 Corinthians 5:17). God expects us to move on and if we are to be productive for Him then we must pick up and keep going. Guilt, shame and regret can be great teachers, humbling us and making us holier. The greatest gift we can give to those we've lost, for whom suffer guilt and regret for, is to learn from it, grow from it and let it bring us closer to the image of Christ.


Recommended reading: Psalm 32, Psalm 38, Psalm 51,

John Piper Sharing A Stage With False Teacher Beth Moore

Not that this surprises me, what with John Piper reigning in false teachers for a big group hug. Looks like Piper has now picked up Beth Moore, one of the most dangerous teachers to women....

Apprising Ministries Article: What Do John Piper and Beth Moore Have In Common?